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“Do something highly thoughtful, but simple, for one another.” Here are seven unique Valentine’s Day date ideas, because there are so many things you can do aside from going out to dinner and buying each other chocolate. After all, many humane societies welcome volunteers to come visit the animals.

By this time, you may have heard of cat cafes where, yes, you can go chill out with not just with a cup of coffee, but with a cat, too. “You can always counteract the pressure of Valentine’s Day by trying to do something very non-romantic together,” Kali Rogers, CEO and Founder of Blush Online Life Coaching, tells Bustle.

And when you’re not quite coupled up but not quite single, when you’re dating, or you’ve just met someone new, the looming presence of Valentine’s Day is absolute torture. Is it appropriate to buy stuff with hearts on if you haven’t said ‘I love you’ yet? What if they’re expecting a gift from you and you’ve done nothing? The answer to stress, we reckon, is an agreed upon set of rules. Dating expert Charly Lester told uk that her rule of thumb is that if you weren’t together at Christmas – or didn’t do presents at Christmas time – then you shouldn’t expect to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Firstly, because if you’ve dated from Christmas to Valentine’s Day, you’ve been at dating for at least a month and a half.

Rules you can refer back to in case you and the person you’re kind of, sort of seeing have a mismatch in Valentine’s Day expectations and actions. Any less time than that, and you’re probably rushing into V Day romance too quickly.

If you’ve been keeping it casual, haven’t said the L word, and haven’t organised any romantic gestures, it’d be a bit weird to suddenly make a huge effort for Valentine’s Day.

If you’re unsure as to whether or not you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day, but don’t want to risk upsetting the person you’re dating by giving them nothing, just pick up something small and simple.

You're not close enough to plan a trip to Aruba together, nor are you close enough to give him an electric tweezer to take care of his stray hairs. Nothing says, "I'm still getting to know you," like making an extended offer to combine liquors, and nothing says, "we aren't quite at the sweatpants and wine phase in our relationship yet," like making an effort to learn how to make fancy-schmancy cocktails together. They're less creepy than a tattoo of his initials less expensive!

But just because you aren't comfortable manscaping him (…yet), doesn't mean you have to get him something lame for Valentine's Day. It's also a subtle way to clear out his souvenir shot glass cabinet for some whiskey and bitters. And each of the above has its perks: At a concert, you can dance like maniacs together and bond over your sweet, sweet dance moves. There's a reason tha hardcover books make great gifts, and no, that reason is not "they look soooo good on my built-in bookshelf." They can provide you with amazing, smart, interesting, provocative conversation. Bottom line: Reading is sexy, and always will be.12. OK, maybe nobody says that, but a quirky mug that can give a coffee drinker a chuckle in the morning is a pretty good (and not crazy-expensive) gift.

And if you like sports, nothing brings two people closer together quite like cheering in the bleachers in the freezing cold while chugging down overpriced beer.3. OK, so maybe elaborate mixology isn't his — or more importantly, — thing. It's a hub for PC video games, including new and more unique games. As cool as it is to purchase a ton of movies on your Apple TV, a Fandango gift card lets you go to the movies together. *~* Get a gift card that's not a set amount of money to help him avoid having a few random dollars on his gift card that live in Gift Card Money Purgatory until the end of time. Society6 has some pretty cheeky mugs, as does Someecards. Give him a cool listening experience with a nice set of headphones, like the Sony ones pictured, which happen to noise-canceling too.

In this ferret's opinion, one month and/or 5 to 10 dates is the benchmark where you do deserve, at the very least, flowers or a card or something.

Even if it's one of those "ironic" kinds that boys who feel weird showing affection prefer. If the date is approaching and he has not indicated that he's aware of it, drop a subtle hint by taking two Conversation Hearts, gently placing them over your closed eyeballs, then lie on your back and cross your arms over your chest, like an Egyptian princess mummy. Over 10 dates, but still not exclusive: Plans should most certainly be made.

Less than 5 dates: Awkward dancing around the approaching holiday and more or less not acknowledge it at all.

Intentionally avoiding making plans on Valentine's Day.

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